we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
