Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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