If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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