i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
There are leaves in my underwear?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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