Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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