After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
