Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You can't motorboat a personality
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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