I'm jealous of your bromance
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
