These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
