I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
