He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
