I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
