Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
