the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it's like iHOP with fire
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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