Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
