We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
we should paint friendship bongs
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