38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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