just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
