Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Come on in and take your pants off
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