Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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