**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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