i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
