The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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