theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
