4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
ttyl tear gas
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
