So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
