I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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