I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
