K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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