that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Let's paint friendship bongs
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
