the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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