I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you have to choose: penises or morals?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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