I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
