Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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