i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
