I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
