She went from zero to smokin in five shots
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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