Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
