Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
