Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
