8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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