the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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