you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Boobs are out for the taking
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
