I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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