i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
