You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Randomize
