trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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