You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
