Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize