moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
