I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
