you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
