please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I could fuck to npr.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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