I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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