Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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