Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Randomize
