You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
