I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
