Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It's rum buckets o'clock
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
there is glitter all over my balls
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