I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
