How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize